A Pros and Cons List for Strong Feelings

Starred review from September 1, 2022

In their debut graphic memoir, cartoonist Betke-Brunswick shows the world a glimpse inside of a deeply loving relationship between mother and child, including during one of its hardest moments: losing a parent to cancer. Betke-Brunswick details their mother's endearing quirks and support throughout their life. For example when they were 12 years old, riding the bus to school filled them with worry about others making fun of them, where to sit, or the possibility of a stomachache. Betke-Brunswick's mother slipped them an envelope and said to open it on the bus. Inside the envelope was a complex math problem that they could focus on for the entire ride to school, signed "Love, Mumin." This memoir is filled with moments of tenderness and humor as the family, drawn as adorably awkward penguins, navigates cancer treatment, coming to terms with gender identity, and end of life choices together. VERDICT The art style is a little unconventional, but readers will likely be drawn in by the poignant, yet humorous tale.--Mary E. Butler

Copyright 2022 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

November 1, 2022
A nonbinary cartoonist reflects on queerness, a quirky but loving relationship with their parents, and the untimely death of their mother. Reimagining their family as penguins and their friends as a menagerie of birds, Colorado-based cartoonist Betke-Brunswick depicts 10 life-changing months in their teens when the life they knew was suddenly changed forever when their mother, Mumin, was diagnosed with cancer. At first, the author's grieving disbelief led them to seek solace in childhood memories and jigsaw puzzles. Mumin declined slowly but never once felt sorry for her condition. When she saw a friend also suffering from cancer wheel by on a walker, she joked that "maybe [we] should race each other." Wearing a portable chemotherapy pack she nicknamed Baby Igor, she went to the hairdresser for a "short and tidy" haircut rather than a wig or scarf to hide her hair loss. Betke-Brunswick also recalled her encouragement of their artistic pursuits and the gently accepting way Mumin revealed how she was aware of the author's sexuality. In her view, it was up to them to educate the loving but short-sighted father, who "thought we were raising a lesbian," about nonbinary identity. Eventually, he accepted Betke-Brunswick for who they are, at one point calling himself a "pretty sensitive, femme, heterosexual, bear-type guy" in an awkward show of solidarity. Nearing the end of her life, Mumin urged Betke-Brunswick to spend a semester abroad in New Zealand even if it meant never being able to see her again. The simple, sketchlike, pen-and-ink images that recall a child's drawings add an extra level of poignancy while also bringing humor to an at-times difficult story about coming out during a time of profound personal loss. This sensitive, humorous memoir is as much a celebration of difference as it is of the healing and enduring power of family love. Heartwarming reading.

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November 7, 2022
Approaching a serious subject—the impending death of their mother (called Mumin) from colon cancer—with subtle levity, Betke-Brunswick pays tribute to their quirky and loving family. The cartoonist intersperses a present-day narrative with vignettes from childhood, during which their mother encourages creativity and supports her child’s evolving gender identity. Their father, a doctor, insists on facing his wife’s death unflinchingly, dispassionately reciting the prognosis and even drafting her obituary ahead of time. But he can’t comprehend the nuance of Betke-Brunswick’s gender. (“Maybe you should read the Wikipedia page on genderqueer out loud to him,” their mom suggests). The family, incidentally, is depicted as penguins with varying human hairdos (Mumin loses hers). Betke-Brunswick’s friends appear as chickens, kiwis, peacocks, and other birds, all rendered with wobbly charm. The anthropomorphism avoids being cutesy or absurd; rather, it serves as a humble reminder that people are all odd ducks with fragile bones. The slim volume is peppered with delightful details, as when Mumin puts her things in order by returning unworn pants to Banana Republic (“These are J. Crew pants, we suggest you return them there” the shop clerk replies). In depicting their family’s relative particularities, Betke-Brunswick shows how individuals are irreplaceable. Agent: Maggie Cooper, Aevitas Creative Agency.

October 28, 2022
Betke-Brunswick alchemizes their beloved mother's death into an affecting tribute to emotional resilience and everlasting love. For reasons not quite clear, Betke-Brunswick transforms their immediate quartet (two parents, two kids) into an adorable waddle of penguins, with extended family, friends, and acquaintances presented as other avian broods. As a college sophomore expecting their parents to arrive for a visit, Betke-Brunswick instead learns their mother is seriously ill and quickly flies home. She will, in fact, have just 10 months left to live. As they track their mother's inevitable decline, they also memorialize the joy and humor, interspersed with flashbacks from the quotidian (their mother's deft slicing of bagels; eschewing the radio for books on tape) to the heartfelt (playing their song; sharing unique nicknames) to the utterly life-changing (coming-of-age as genderqueer). Despite the spare page count, Betke-Brunswick's memoir composed of resonating line-drawn panels in blue, white, and orange proves dense with plenty more pros than cons for eternally binding, never forgetting strong feelings.

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