Torn

September 10, 2012
Lee, founder of Gay Christian Network, attempts to call a truce in the gays-versus-Christians cultural war with this autobiographical account. His experiences inside Christian communities, including ex-gay ministries, have convinced Lee that the church is hampering its own best intentions. The nondoctrinaire approach he offers, through examples and concrete suggestions, requires both sides to allow greater space for differing viewpoints and more open listening. He argues that gays need to be more welcoming to the religious, including gay celibates. On the other side, Christians need to change an approach that casts sexual minorities as sinners by definition and fixates on changing or healing. His tactics might seem too gentle for more radical aspirations, but his tone radiates a genuine concern and belief in progress through slow, personal evolution. The lens of one gay Christian’s life helps bring home the political message, and Lee’s willingness to admit that both sides have good intentions provides a much needed break from the rancor of the debate. Both LGBT individuals and Christians will benefit from the modeling of a kinder, more accommodating navigation of this culture war.

November 1, 2012
Gay Christian Network founder Lee argues that sexual preference doesn't need to be a source of division for the Christian church. Raised in a conservative Christian household, the author was certain during his teenage years that homosexuality was a sin. Nevertheless, he was attracted to other boys and could not change his attractions. In this book, part memoir and part manifesto, Lee explains his lengthy search for answers and assistance from a church unwilling to accept his sexual preference. Lee's story begins as a young man, when he came out to his parents, who showed him unconditional love even while not accepting homosexuality as a permanent condition. He went on to search out "ex-gay" ministries, which promised that he could change into a heterosexual. These experiences left him unchanged and unhappy, as he discerned that ex-gay ministries might change sexual behaviors but never alter sexual preferences. As a college student, Lee became an almost unwitting leader of his campus gay and lesbian organization, and he attempted to build bridges between campus gays and Christians. The author argues that a serious examination of Scripture shows that God does not condemn homosexuality per se, but only harmful practices such as molestation or rape. In the New Testament, if selfless love was involved, it made everything right: "I thought about every example of sin I could come up with. In every single case, Paul was right: Truly living out God's agape love for others always led to doing the right thing." Lee calls for a radical change in the church's approach to gays and lesbians, focusing on acceptance, love, understanding and open dialogue. Lee's writing is approachable, and he shows compassion for those on all sides of this debate.

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