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Assume Nothing

A Story of Intimate Violence

Audiobook (Includes supplementary content)
2 of 2 copies available
2 of 2 copies available

Award-winning filmmaker Tanya Selvaratnam bravely recounts the intimate abuse she suffered from former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, using her story as a prism to examine the domestic violence crisis plaguing America.
When Tanya Selvaratnam met then New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman at the Democratic National Convention in July 2016, they seemed like the perfect match. Both were Harvard alumni; both studied Chinese; both were interested in spirituality and meditation, both were well-connected rising stars in their professions—Selvaratnam in entertainment and the art world; Schneiderman in law and politics.

Behind closed doors, however, Tanya's life was anything but ideal. Schneiderman became controlling, mean, and manipulative. He drank heavily and used sedatives. Sex turned violent, and he called Tanya—who was born in Sri Lanka and grew up in Southern California—his "brown slave." He isolated and manipulated her, even threatening to kill her if she tried to leave.

Twenty-five percent of women in America are victims of domestic abuse. Tanya never thought she would be a part of this statistic. Growing up, she witnessed her father physically and emotionally abuse her mother. Tanya knew the patterns and signs of domestic violence, and did not see herself as remotely vulnerable. Yet what seemed impossible was suddenly a terrifying reality: she was trapped in a violent relationship with one of the most powerful men in New York.

Sensitive and nuanced, written with the gripping power of a dark psychological thriller, Assume Nothing details how Tanya's relationship devolved into abuse, how she found the strength to leave—risking her career, reputation, and life—and how she reclaimed her freedom and her voice. In sharing her story, Tanya analyzes the insidious way women from all walks of life learn to accept abuse, and redefines what it means to be a victim of intimate violence.

Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      April 19, 2021
      Filmmaker Selvaratnam (The Big Lie) traces the harrowing story of her relationship with former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman in this courageous work. Following her explosive admission in the New Yorker in 2018 about Schneiderman’s abuse, she unflinchingly shares details of the violence she endured. Selvaratnam met Schneiderman at the 2016 Democratic National Convention, where they connected over their progressive ideals. Soon after, they started dating. Schneiderman was a rising public figure, but in their relationship, she writes, he became a “nightmare” and would slap and choke her during sex, and called her “his property.” Despite being a successful woman in her 40s, she stayed with him. Recently divorced, Selvaratnam writes she “was weakened with regard to romance” and that Schneiderman “had a history of breaking strong women down.” After a year of abuse and threats, she finally sought the aid of friends, and when news broke about Harvey Weinstein, they helped her leave him. The revelation that Schneiderman abused another ex-girlfriend inspired her to come forward to the New Yorker, leading to his resignation. In capping her account, Selvaratnam offers advice and resources for victims of abuse, emphasizing, “you are not alone and you are not crazy.” This gripping story is not to be missed. Agent: Meg Thompson, Thompson Literary.

    • Library Journal

      Starred review from February 1, 2021

      With its epigraph from Terry Tempest Williams's When Women Were Birds and chapter titles that invoke the fairy tale tropes her story dismantles, Assume Nothing is raw, gut-wrenching, and honest in its exposure of how--and why--women find themelves trapped in the stories that comprised their childhoods, with particular attention to the shame that comes from believing that they should have known better. Selvaratnam has written this for other women, in an effort to amplify the voices of people who lack the visibility she gained in the aftermath of going public about experiencing abuse by former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman. She writes with tremendous personal vulnerability, yet never loses sight of the broader policies and data surrounding domestic violence, which lends her work strength as a memoir and as a polemic. By taking Schneiderman's own language and using it as a framework for exploring the complexity of domestic violence, Selvaratnam has successfully undermined the damaging rhetoric designed to prevent women from recognizing themselves as experiencing abuse, especially in situations where there is an imbalance of power. VERDICT A searing, yet sensitive account of vulnerability and redemption that will find a wide audience.--Emily Bowles, Lawrence Univ., WI

      Copyright 2021 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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