Text Me When You Get Home

October 1, 2017

What does female friendship mean today? Something different from what it used to mean, when women competed with nails unsheathed and dumped their girlfriends as soon as Mr. Right came along. There's even a Galentine's Day, the unofficial female friendship holiday on February 13. Journalist Schaefer draws on research and personal anecdote to assay this bright new world.

Copyright 2017 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

December 15, 2017
A journalist examines the nature and impact of the friendships women form with each other.Society traditionally views female friendships as competitive and transitory. Schaefer argues that more women than ever are actively working to reclaim their relationships with each other from negative stereotyping. Drawing from popular culture, interviews with a wide range of successful female professionals and her own life, the author suggests that current trends stem in part from generational changes. A product of mid-20th-century culture, Schaefer's mother lived during a time when adult female relationships with anyone beyond children and husbands were considered "nice, but not essential." On TV and in film, bonds between women--e.g., those between the main characters of the 1980s blockbuster show Dynasty--were characterized as catty and vindictive, with women ruthlessly fighting each other over men. In the 1990s, developments like the Riot Grrrl movement and films like Thelma & Louise attempted to inspire female empowerment, but "mean girl" stereotypes--which the author found herself playing into--continued to flourish and undermine more positive depictions of female bonding. As a young career woman in the early 2000s, Schaefer, who preferred male friendships, was uninterested in "helping any other women through their lives." Her awakening came in her early 30s when she decided against marrying a long-term boyfriend. She realized that her strongest allies were other single, motivated women who were also "striving to do good work." Looking around her, she saw young women like singer Taylor Swift and Olympian Kim Vandenberg extolling female friendships and social media trends like #squadgoals and #girlsquads honoring the help and support women could give each other. Though the author focuses mostly on bonds between white females, it is still a welcome reminder during a time of political backlash against women that females are continuing to insist on "changing the rules themselves."A hopeful celebration of women's friendships.

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May 1, 2018

Schaefer weaves a history of female friendship from the Middle Ages to the modern day, intertwined with personal accounts and discussions of iconic duos from pop culture. The author presents compelling looks at harmful concepts, such as how the sexist "mean girls" trope reinforces stereotypes that women are catty and competitive. Readers will relate to the message that female bonds offer unique rewards. "Text me when you get home" isn't just a phrase that women say to their companions at the end of the night to ensure that everyone makes it back safely; it signifies the protectiveness that many female friends feel for one another. Unfortunately, with the exception of Broad City's Abbi and Ilana and Insecure's Issa and Molly, most of the pop culture reference are fairly dated (Designing Women, Laverne & Shirley, Ally McBeal). The pacing of the book's second half drags, but there's still plenty here to intrigue those with an interest in the topic. VERDICT Sophisticated teens will appreciate the empowering stories of support and love. An ideal purchase for larger collections where Rebecca Traister's All the Single Ladies is popular.-Kristen Thorp, Eugene Public Library, OR

Copyright 2018 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

January 1, 2018

Following decades of white, middle-class couples who turned inward for companionship, Schaefer posits that modern women of this class and race are now looking outward and raising the value of friendships to that of other serious relationships. Telling someone "text me when you get home" is a way of continuing the conversation and letting friends know you care, as well as a method for friends to stay connected in one another's lives. Whereas female friendships were once stereotyped as disposable or competitive by scholars and the media, the subsiding of these classifications is the basis for Schaefer's work. The author successfully weaves the stories of her life and her mother's into a narrative of the changes that have occurred through time. She discusses her own path to modern female friendship: first as a competitive youth, then trying to fit in with a male-dominated workplace, and finally a self-proclaimed awakening to the power of female relationships. VERDICT Schaefer provides an engaging, deeply researched sociological perspective into the evolution of female friendships. Consider purchasing where women's studies topics circulate well.--Mattie Cook, Lake Odessa Comm. Lib., MI

Copyright 2018 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.