Here and There

August 10, 2015
In this heartfelt and honest memoir, Deitsch shares the story of her tumultuous journey to find her own way while keeping ties with her family intact. Torn between loyalty to her family, practitioners of Lubavitch Hasidism, and her own growing unhappiness with the rules and restrictions placed upon her, Deitsch recounts the vicissitudes of living a life filled with internal conflict. Although she doubts much, she feels the power of the Lubavitcher rebbe, the brilliant spiritual leader whom she fears can see her “dark and secret thoughts.” She lives an untenable existence: “Unable to escape, however, I float in a middle space, a psychic refuge.” Her story—from childhood only through college graduation, leaving readers wondering what has become of her in the decades since (besides a brief afterword)—is permeated with discontent, but never disrespect, and laced with love for and from her family. It is perhaps Deitsch’s parents who are the real heroes of this story, straddling expectations of family and community while stretching to accept their daughter’s needs.

October 1, 2015

Deitsch, a financial writer, grew up Lubavitcher Hasidic yet never felt a strong sense of religious belonging. She was rankled by the position of women in traditional Judaism, even as she loved spending time with her extended family. While many such stories would end in ostracism, this book is about how the author found her own way while maintaining family and community relationships. Owing to her parents' attitudes and the general nature of Lubavitchers toward outreach, she was able to explore the wider world without being fully engaged in its practices. At the same time, this meant that she had to compartmentalize her life to do so safely. Ultimately, Deitsch exists in the secular environment and keeps close ties with her loved ones and neighbors. Writing this memoir allowed her to reveal her desires to her family. Warm, funny, and genuine, Deitsch's style makes her story relatable, since we all have experienced difficulty disclosing parts of ourselves. VERDICT A very enjoyable debut for fans of Jewish life memoirs.--Margaret Heller, Loyola Univ. Chicago Libs.

Copyright 2015 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

November 15, 2015
There have been several recent books about people leaving an ultra-Orthodox Jewish community and the heartache that such a transition entails, often with the fallen away having to cut all family ties. So it's refreshing to read a memoir in which, though the author struggles internally with her decision, her family accepts her choice. We know this because the book begins as Deitsch returns to Crown Heights, Brooklyn, the epicenter of the Lubavitcher movement, for a funeral. She's been trying to write a history of the remarkable women in her family but realizes the story she needs to write is her own. From childhood, Deitsch felt at odds with her Hasidic community, where life revolved around rules and the Rebbe's pronouncements. Even after her family moves away and adopts a more liberal life, Deitsch feels aggrieved. There's nothing very dramatic here, and the most surprising element is the lack of opposition she faces. Since the book ends before true adulthood, readers get only hints of how family acceptance evolved. But Deitsch writes engagingly in a smart, true voice that makes readers want to know even more.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2015, American Library Association.)