Perfect Madness

January 31, 2005
For Warner, coauthor of Howard Dean's You Have the Power
, the phrase "overinvolved parenting" accurately describes the mess we're in. In the modern culture of motherhood, Warner says, mothers feel constant pressure to "facilitate" for their kids, to "be doing
something with or for them." She describes how she practically turned herself into a "human television set" with 24-hour-a-day programming to entertain her own newborn. Once we finish (over)stimulating our infants, she explains, we start testing our toddlers to determine if there are subtle developmental delays that could be remedied with "occupational therapy," since the best schools only take perfect children. Micromanaging our children feels right, because modern women like getting things "under control," and since they often haven't got much control over their own lives, they obsess over their children's lives. No surprise, then, that they frequently produce spoiled, academically precocious children who lack even minimal social graces. Warner argues for a saner society, where everyone would have access to a decent living and enough family time for themselves and their children. People could still "choose" fast-lane careers demanding 80-hour work weeks, but why not design our social policy for the majority, who don't have those options? Warner is better at describing the problem than detailing the solution, but a similar imbalance didn't stop Betty Friedan's Feminine Mystique
from making waves. Agent, Lisa Grubka. (Feb. 17)

Forecast:
If Warner gets enough publicity, her clever book could sell well. Its subject has been popular lately, with articles appearing in
New York Magazine and elsewhere.